Several years ago I was talking with a friend about the plight of the whales. Some Greenpeace “volunteers” had been trying to blackmail us in the high street, or at least preventing us from passing by them, brandishing lethal looking clipboards, and direct debit slips. After we had got past them, (using a combination of Jedi mind tricks, commando rolls, and finally just legging it) we discussed their pitch. Whilst I think that the wholesale slaughter of defenceless creatures for no gain at all, is totally abhorrent, I have grave concerns about giving my money to the previously mentioned multi-national. That aside, my buddy asked me, “If the whales died out tomorrow, how would that really affect you?”
He told me, that the sad truth of the matter is that it probably wouldn’t at all. I am fortunate in that I have seen whales in the wild on three occasions, and each time, it was a very special experience, but to be honest, I’m not sure that I am any richer for them. I am not saying that it wouldn’t be a shame if they were eradicated, especially if the chief cause of their extinction was man, but in my day to day life it is unlikely that it would make a huge difference. I may be quite wrong and I hope I never have to put this to the test but I suspect that if I never saw another whale again, it really wouldn’t be the end of the world.
The same is true of cats. You may recall from a post a month or two ago, that I am not their biggest fan. It’s not that I would wish them any harm, but I’ve never really taken a liking to our feline overlords.
Over the last month, I have had cause to increase my disliking of them from mild apathy, to a serious loathing. You might say in our household we have gone to DEFCAT 4. One of our neighbourhood cats has decided that our address is a pretty nice place to be, and is especially attracted to our cars. I have seen him basking on the bonnet of mine and he was most put out when I shooed him away.
Given the choice though he seems to really prefer Mrs L.’s car, so much so that when she was taking the shopping in the other day, he decided to get into it. Sadly Mrs L. didn’t realise this and shut him in. A wee while later, when she went to pick Fraboo up from school, as she opened the door, a browny-black blur fled the car as she got in. If this was the worst of it, that would have just been an amusing story, however, the cat (and please excuse the vulgar language), had crapped with great enthusiasm and with little regard for our upholstery, all over the inside of the car.
I saw the little bastard eyeing the car up again this evening and cursed Mrs L. for not allowing me to buy that Super Soaker Apocalypse! As I said, I am not terribly fond of felines at the moment!
They do have one redeeming feature though and one which Boy Boy and I fully embrace. I used to joke with one of my workmates, that there was nothing quite as funny a poorly timed fart, but it seems that in Boy Boy’s eyes at least, videos of cats coming a cropper, are even more hilarious (perhaps his lack of hearing prevents him from sharing in the amusement which flatulence provides). I don’t know what is so funny about them, but currently, I find that there is very little which gives me more of a good old belly laugh, than having my little lad sat on my knee with tears pouring down his cheeks chuckling at a cat who has ended up in a bin or down a hole where it really didn’t intend to be. I will laugh at him giggling, and then he will laugh at me chuckling at him, which in turn makes me laugh even more. This in turn gives him hysterics and then I, oh I’m sure you get them picture. It really is a perfect circle of happiness.
So while I and the cats that I meet in real life, share a mutual distain for one another, those who have made it onto the internet, whilst they may not be providing us all with especially highbrow entertainment, they truly have my gratitude!