The spotty man cometh

These last few weeks have been pretty dreadful. Lady Gaga has “reinvented” herself as a singer and has released an album with the (I assume) poverty stricken Tony Bennett. Nicky Minaj has been waving her backside around in the name of art. Thank goodness we’ splashed out and bought a widescreen TV, I don’t think. The New Zealand general election has gone by with much name calling and very little in the way of useful informative debate. Worse than all of this has been the health of Team Fun. As a general rule, we seem to enjoy pretty good health due, in large part I suspect, to the questionable cleanliness of our house.

It all began in the middle of last week, when Fraboo was sent home from school after some rather enthusiastic puking. For us this was something of a novelty, although not an especially pleasant one, as the interior of Mrs L.’s car has never looked quite so psychedelic! I got home from work to find an eerie calm lying over the house and it took me a while to realise that Fraboo  was sound asleep, having exhausted herself as she emptied the contents of her stomach.

Overnight Mrs L. started feeling a bit peculiar, and we were rudely awoken to Boy-Boy complaining that he had been sick in his hair. Oh the joys of parenthood! Given that Mrs L. was still feeling pretty ropey, and she had three children to look after, I decided to take the day off of work. As it turns out it was fortunate that I did, as my normally cast iron stomach was not quite as robust as I had thought.  After a particularly violent cough I discovered that I would probably need to change my underwear.

I’ve always considered myself a good and reasonably civilised human being, and at the very least, an adequate Dad, but if you’d seen me shoving poor Fraboo out of the way of the toilet so that I could save myself the humiliation of having to wash yet another pair of Y-fronts, you would have been quite justified in considering me an unfeeling savage!

Over the course of the next 24 hours Fraboo and I suffered.  Mrs L. was clearly out of sorts and Jojo was unhappy that so much time was being devoted to the “throne” and not to him. Boy Boy, meanwhile seemed a bit unhappy but was otherwise his normal self. The ever vigilant Mrs L. however, had noticed a few little spots on the back of his neck which she hadn’t seen before.

As it was quite out of character for me to be so unwell, I went to visit the Doctor who gave me a prescription for a champagne cork “just to stem the flow”. I’d taken Boy Boy along with me. I asked him what he thought about Boy Boy’s spots and was assured that it was nothing to worry about, but over night the poor lad began to look like a join the dots compendium, and was exceedingly itchy. It turned out that he had managed to catch chicken pox.

We just can’t work out where the illness has come from. Several of his little friends have had chicken pox over the last 6 months, the most recent about 3 months ago. So unless Boy Boy has been harbouring a new strain of the illness which can lay dormant for 12 weeks, we just can’t fathom it.

This has really thrown a spanner in the works as we had booked some swimming lessons nearby to my sister, and had planned to stay with her for a week. Unfortunately she hasn’t had that particular illness and a trip she has been planning for years is due to be taking place over the coming fortnight. Even with the copious application of foundation, it would be unlikely that she could fool airport security into thinking she wasn’t doing her best leopard impression, and so with heavy hearts we had to cancel the holiday.

Despite all of this, I am quite pleased that he has fallen ill to this particular malady. It is almost a necessary evil of childhood and we are exceedingly fortunate to live in an environment where he is unlikely to have any lasting effects from it. True, he’ll probably end up with one or two of those amusing little lego shaped scars, but beyond that there will be very little to write home about.

In any case I have bigger fish to fry. We have run out of wet wipes and my bottom is rapidly beginning to resemble the Japanese flag!

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